♥ My Grandma ♥

My grandma, she passed away when I was 6 years old. I don't have much memories with her. But still I have part of the pieces of memory about her.

I used to go to her house and overnight every weekend or holiday. She always cooked a lot for me and wanted me to eat more and more.

And I remember once when I was sleeping, I woke up for no reason early in the morning. My back was facing her, and she doesn't know I'm awake. She put on blanket for me and she touched my head for few times. I know she loves me very very much. She is old and she always have difficulty in sleeping.

I admit my attitude and my temper are really bad. I fight with her once, not once I guess. But that's the only once I have in my memory. I don't remember what we are fighting for. She was in the living room and I was in the room. I came out from the room and hit the cabinet really hard, trying to tell her: Grandma, Im angry with you!! But I was hiding behind the cabinet so she won't see me. She heard it, and said: Hit it harder, if things on the cabinet fall down, I will chop you into 18 pieces! I cried and ran back to room. After a while, she came with chocolate. But I fall asleep on bed after too tired of crying. But I knew she was beside me touching my head again.

But I really can't remember much about her. I was too young and small. Am I?

My mum told me, my grandma sick because of me. She was helping me to shower. And then she fells down when she walking out from the toilet. She fall. After that, she started to sick. She was in the hospital. Many times. Check in check out. Non stop.

I asked my mum: Where is grandma now? I didn't go to her house in ages. Never see her for a long time. And my mum said: She is in the hospital now. When she gets better, I will bring you to see her ok? OK.

One day, my mum told me to get dressed and she is going to bring me to hospital. I was too young. Too small. I don't remember much. But I remember, when we get to her room. All the other relatives was beside her bed. I saw her laying there, with machine and also her oxygen mask. She has difficulties in talking and she was too weak to move and talk. But when she saw me, she called me. She has something to tell me. My aunt goes near to her, gently pull her oxygen mask off and trying to listen what she wanna tells. My aunt cried, turned to me and said: 要听话(3 words she left for me). I nod my head non stop and said I will I will !

Few days later, my brother came to tell me. Grandma passed away already. He said it in a rude way, grandma died. Go and get changed now. Mum gonna pick us up now and bring us there. Remember to wear white shirt. I was thinking, he must be kidding. Trying to make fun of me so he can tell the whole world he succeed to cheat on me with his joke. Although I was thinking that way, but I turned sad, my tears just doesn't listen to me. I cried secretly so he won't see it.

When we arrive grandma's house, something is different with her house. But, but I saw all my aunties are sitting out there talking and chatting and they laughing too. And I was thinking: OMG, what on earth is going on?! Grandma passed away and all of you sitting here laughing so loud? Or grandma still alive? I'm still giving myself hope and trying to lie to myself.

But when I get into her house, my hope broke. I saw coffin and grandma's picture in front of the coffin. But I'm too short to look into the coffin. My dad told me: Ahh, grandma is inside. Can you see it? Then my dad hold me up so I'm able to see what's inside the coffin. Fine, I see it now. Grandma is dead! My tears out of control when I see it. I cried secretly again.

For the next seven days, everything goes well. But grandma's body turned a little bit yellowish. And it is the last day. Last day for me to see her body. Then she will be buried with her coffin together.

On the way to grave, finally I see all my aunties started to cry. And I cried out loud. I can't stand it anymore. I cried all the way until the grave.

I cried every night after that. And I cover myself with blanket. I even crying when I'm shower. So nobody will see I'm crying. At school, my friends asked why I skipped class for seven days and there are a lot of works to do. I tell them the reason and my tears come out. I turned away and laugh so I can cover how sad I am and how loud I wanna cry out loud. Once, I'm crying and hiding myself under the blanket. My brother, he realized it. I don't know he was trying to tease me or concern about me. He said out really loud: HOR! MEIMEI IS CRYING!! I hate him so much. For teasing me. I clear my throat and said: Im not crying, shut up and get out!

For the next few weeks, I'm super sad. I cant stop crying every night. I just cant. Whats on my mind was: Grandma passed away, she will never come back anymore. She wont. She wont. Never ever forever! I miss her so much.

I felt better after few months. But sometime when I miss her, those feelings just annoyed me. It feels like how's a couple breaks up I guess?

R.I.P Grandma, I still miss you though. I'm 20 years old now but sill I never forget you.

Since that time, I will never cry more than 1 day. Nobody has the qualifications to make me so sad like this. I won't cry for a guy and how I broke up with my exs. I don't think that is sad enough. Even with all the farewell with friends or whatever, I don't cry. Friends still alive, so what for you cry in front of them? Laugh, joke and smile so they have a good impression on the last day they see us.

So, girls. If a guy fucking dump you, don't cry for them. It is not worth at all. Don't waste your tears on a guy who doesn't know how to appreciate and love you. Life still goes on and cheers up! You can cry, but 1 minute is enough! Remember this ok?

-END-

p/s: click advertisements please. Arigatou gozaimas ♥

Newspaper?

LOL, talk about newspaper. Pretty funny. My dad reads English newspaper and my mum reads Chinese newspaper. Seriously, I don't like newspaper. I don't read it too even lectures always say: Girl, you must read newspaper to gain knowledge and know what is happening around.

I feel funny when the lecture said that. Gain knowledge? What I read from the newspaper was like: 'Ahmad lost 3 chickens and 2 cows', 'AhBeng wife ran away cause of Along,' 'Mutha lost his leg in an accident cause he was drunk'. Ahmad, Ahbeng and Mutha, Wah, the whole country knows about you all now. Hahaha.

Also, what is coming out on the facebook will probably comes out at the newspaper the next day at the front page. Biggest picture ever on the front page! There are few examples already. I dont have to mention it here.

Most of the facebookers will post it on facebook and share it. And your news feed is gonna like the same thing. The video, the video and the video. He shares it, she shares it and it shares it. And the most scary is they came out with page or groupo and started to discuss it. XXX likes this page. XXX likes this page. Newsfeed same, same and same. And surely, yes, this is gonna come out on newspaper tomorrow. OMFG, dont u guys have other useful things to do?

Why dont u guys just post whats coming out on lotto tomorrow on facebook and wait for it to post in newspaper too. So I can buy it! C'mon, should consider about it!

Besides, when you get English newspaper, it usually more on economic, politic. I guess? So the English newspaper is so smallll size. But for Chinese newspaper. Wow, you need to take few hours if you wanna go through all of it. There are lots of things you can read. Everything I mean. Like what happend on Ahmad, Ahbeng and Mutha.

Still, consider about the lotto thingy please. I can tell my parents to buy it. Thanks :D

-END-

我的爱情世界Part2

哈哈，我还没吹完水.现在继续吧.熊猫姐姐她很生气，她觉得我很坏.因为不会去珍惜他.她说我应该学着怎么去爱他,可是我没有!还那么坏咧!她真的快给我气死了!哈哈

我没有很爱他啊,只不过我每天晚上都会很想他.不过我没告诉他.

我没有很爱他啊,只不过早上起床我第一个想起的只有他.

我没有很爱他啊,我有什么开心伤心事都会想第一时间想告诉他,可是偏偏没机会说.所以我总是说得最少话.

我没有很爱他啊,只不过有时给他拿来开玩笑,我会介意,我会不喜欢,可是我不会告诉他，因为我总是会开更大的玩笑来玩回他.

我没有很爱他啊,只不过当我做错事,我都会很坦白一五一十的告诉他真相.我没有想隐瞒.

我没有很爱他啊,只不过晚上睡不着的时候,我不会打给他,我不会想要吵醒他，因为他经常都睡不好．

我没有很爱他啊,只不过我经常说反话，想要刺激他而已．

我没有很爱他啊,只不过当我生气时，我只会不睬他，我说我很恨他，叫他不要吵我．其实我想要他继续吵我继续哄回我．可是他不会．

我没有很爱他啊,只不过我考试还特地上网想跟他聊天,他想要我温书不让我上网,可是我还是骗他说,我有东西要弄.一定要上网.可是他不知道其实我是怕他会寂寞．

我没有很爱他啊,只不过当我非常非常的不开心的时候,我都不会告诉他.我只会笑哈哈的跟他聊天.而他从来也没发觉到我那时候是多么的伤心.因为其实我不想也让他伤心.

我没有很爱他啊,他每次玩游戏玩好几个小时没和我聊天.我没生气,我只说你去玩吧,别在这里罗索!不要打扰我跟478749282个人聊天可以没有?

我没有很爱他啊,只不过我唯一个月的假期我都打２份工，从星期一到星期日．为了存够钱去见他．可是他却冷冷的说，这么少工钱，你打来干嘛？　对，其实是不够！可是我也是为了你．

我没有很爱他啊,我知道其实会不够钱，想延迟，可是我知道你很想我．所以我没告诉你不够，但是我自己想办法，还是要３月过去跟你庆祝．你都不知道．

我没有很爱他啊,因为我从来不爱说肉麻话，所以他总以为我不爱他．

我没有很爱他啊,只不过我是一个人去外国．他却告诉我说没地方住，他不知道其实我很失望，因为我以为他已经帮我筹备好．

我没有很爱他啊,只不过到后来，我真的好失望了．我真的失望了．你叫我再给你时间筹备，可是你不知道机票已经起价了．我不等你了．我只好当作是自己的旅行．　

我没有很爱他啊,因为当有更好的男生出现，原来我真的会心动．

我．．真．．的．．没．．有．．很．．爱．．他．．啊．．
不过我已经很努力了．


p/s: Don't google translate please you silly !

补充：帮我按广告！嘿嘿

我的爱情世界

对，我的爱情世界。三个字，很复杂。真的，复杂到我不知道怎么形容。

对爱情，我很不熟悉，我也不会想去了解。因为我只知道，当你被伤的时候，你会生不如死。
你可以说我懦弱，胆小。不过，我只是不想被伤。
所以，坦白的说。我不会真的很认真去爱某人。
才二十岁，你要我怎么去对一个人认真？ 白头到老。我的三分钟热度成分很高。对我来说这很高难度咧！傻咩？
啊，你看了之后。你可能会讨厌我。这女生怎么可以这样啊？
不过，我还是想说。
喂，我真的很不想拿把刀深深的插自己，然后慢慢等伤口好。

因为害怕受伤，所以选择逃避。

我，有个男友？算网上的啦！哈哈。他今年21岁，在澳洲。我认识他八个月了，见过他一次。 就这么一次！该怎么开始说啊。就，我们每天都在聊天。从早上到晚上。除了睡觉时间。其余的时间，还是在聊天。就算有那么的几小时没有聊，他都会跟我报告说他在干嘛。

我只能说，他真的很爱我。有一次，我很贪玩。我作了个故事，想要耍他。 我说：昨晚，我不是告诉你我有朋友来我家吗？ 那个男生应该是喝醉了，那时候又很夜了。我就说了全世界就大的骗话，说：我被他侮辱了。哇靠，我本来真的只想开玩笑。我也以为他不会信我。他只是很注意的看我写什么。然后问真的吗？过后我说骗你的啦 笨蛋! 你怎么那么笨? 他就说以后别拿这种事来开玩笑啦!会伤到我! 我闹完之后就没理他了.再过了一会儿,他说,你知道刚刚你开玩笑的时候,我是被你吓到差点哭了吗?我连要回你,我的手都发抖了起来.以后可以不要再开这种玩笑吗? 这时候,是我被他吓回了.哇,有这样刺激没有? 那时候很对不起他. 因为我真的太太太幼稚了.

有个晚上,我突然想起我想要买个钱包.在马来西亚卖到好贵,他那边便宜好多.就想叫他帮我买的.那个晚上,我就跟他说,我要我要.就拼命在网上找照片想给他看.结果找了一整晚,什么都找不到.就很不开心,说找不到找不到.怎么办? 他就拼命的安慰我,说没关系啦.明天我上网再帮你找看.别伤心了,很夜了,快去睡吧.以我的性格,我是不可能睡的.他就一直陪着我,等到我放弃.去睡了,他才睡.
故事还没完,隔一天.他要帮我找的时候.我很冷的说一句:算了吧,不用找了!找不到的!他又被我不小心伤到了.可是我不知道,后来他才说:为什么你每次都不让我帮你?我答应了你,我就要做,而你每次都在我还没开始前就狠狠的拒绝我,你知道我会不开心么?

还有一次,我去了澳洲.他就要从他那边飞过来见我. 那时候是他21岁的生日.他说在他的国家,21岁的生日也很重要的.我都没和朋友庆祝,只想要跟你庆祝,你一定不要令我失望哦!就在他要上机的前一个小时,哈哈,当然我又搞怪了.他收到一件会令到很不开心的消息(要知道的话,你私底下问我,我应该会考虑告诉你的:P).在他的生日那天,没上机之前,知道这件事,确实是不好受.他还要呆在飞机里,不能讯息问我.坐在那整个小时不停的想那件事,真的会崩溃.可是他还是没怪我.我真的被他吓坏了.他说,你只要对我坦白,我都会原谅你.无论是多大的错事.那时候我在想:哇,你很笨咧! 哈哈

我经常问他,为什么你那么笨会原谅我?你可以飞掉我就算了啦!他就回答我说:其实我也问过我自己为什么那么笨,可是我真的很喜欢你,我不能没有你的一天.如果有哪个晚上,我没跟你聊天,我真的会睡不着.

有一次,他答应我的事情没有做到.我就失望到够够力.就干脆不睬他,什么都不说.整天都不回复他.他就想尽办法到底是做错那里了,不停的信息我,想要补救.那一天,我没睬到,他睡不着,半夜还信息我问我到底什么事啊！　嗯,后来他知道什么事了.可是却用错了方式.我很无奈,拼了命的说他你怎么那么笨.我真得服了你啊.而他很伤心的说,你没说清楚.我真的不知道你在想什么啊!以后可以说清楚了才决定不睬我吗?

很多人问我，他那么远，你不怕他偷吃吗？　我会很高兴的回答：他会就爽咯！起码我们分手以后，他不会那么伤心嘛！我也想要他去偷吃咧！　
还有：为什么好好的，不找本地人。要找的这样远的？这个，很难解释，因为我之前遇到的男生。都很令我掉眼镜。

其实我不珍惜他。他也知道我没有很在意他。他经常写很长的信息给我，而我经常回复他好短，哈哈嘻嘻呵呵好厉害哦这样。很鬼敷衍他。他很希望我说多点关于我的事，会问我今天和朋友出去，做什么来啊？我只会回复他：‘走街。”其实我不知道要写什么哈哈不是走街那还有什么？后来我问朋友，他说：哇赛，你很够力敷衍的咯！你起码写吃什么，走什么，进什么店啦拜托！　我只能说，我不记得那些店的名字　＊无奈＊

他经常告诉我，他昨夜梦到我了。我知道，当你很想一个人的时候，你会梦到他。可是，他梦到我的都是恶梦。他说：他都会梦见我跟他提出分手。哈哈。他很傻。不过他都说，每次梦到我跟他提分手，我的样子都好像给人逼。我懂，他很害怕失去我。很害怕我离开他。可是他还是会安慰自己说：不会的，我知道他也一样爱着我。他一定不会这样对我。*哇，这样我很难做人咯*

还有，他经常在面子书看我跟朋友聊天。之后，他也会学着用我们马来西亚的烂英文。特地加：啦，咧，嘛，喔 来跟我聊天。然后还要我教他用。我看到真的吓到了。就告诉他，你不要学啦拜托，很奇怪咧。我不会教你的！他就回复我说：你不教我没关系 ，我可以自己学！好的不学，坏的他都要学。够力到

说真的，我没有很爱他。我很坏因为我即将会令他崩溃了。很多事我不能告诉他，因为他每听一件事，他的心都是痛的。我不知道该对谁说。我也要崩溃了老板！　

我亲爱的tempo，我已经写关于我条仔了。不过是用华语。我希望他不会去用google翻译呱！因为翻译之后很好笑！哈哈　我知道他一定会看我的blog然后问我写什么.

补充下，哈哈　帮个忙。按按我的advertisement。不要让我白写这么长的废话！:P



早上７点了，我睡不着睡不着！　干！　

The Moment I Miss The Most !

Well, I miss the moment when I'm with my brothers. I have 5 brothers. And I'm 4th one. 3 older brothers and 2 younger brothers.

I miss the moment when we used to fight for foods. Foods are more delicious when we fight with each other to get more foods. They never feel full and always hungry. So we always fight and see who's gonna get more foods. I forced myself to eat more in order to get more foods and be the winner.
But now, I always eat alone. Even it's my favorite foods, I feel nothing when Im eating alone.

I miss the moment when we used to watch movies or dramas together. We laughed so much even the movies are sad or horror. They make fun of everything and made everyone LOL so much.
But now, I feel more sad when I'm watching sad movie. I feel more scare when I'm watching horror movie. I feel so silly when I'm laughing alone when I'm watching comedy.

I miss the moment when we're in primary or secondary school. Dad used to wake up super early and send us to school one by one. And he needs to pick us up one by one after school. He never complaint. We always fight and want dad to send us to school first because we don't study in the same school and we always late to school. So, first come first serve. we know we always late to school but we never bother to wake up early to get prepared.
But now, I drive to college by myself. And I feel so lonely in the car by myself.

I miss the moment when we fight for toilet. Whenever we wanna go somewhere else, we always late. Start to get prepared at the last minute and fight for toilet to shower.
But now, I can shower anytime and nobody gonna bother how long I shower.

I miss the moment whenever our aunties uncles called us for dinner together, we always arrived late and always the last family to arrive. And we always give excuses to them on the phone saying ON THE WAY but the truth is we are still watching TV at home.
But now, is so far for me to have dinner with my aunties uncles.

I miss the moment whenever I get home, I have someone to share my stories at school and listen to my stories. I miss the moment to listen to their silly stupid things that happened in their school and what they did at school. We share and listen to each other.
But now, I don't have anyone to listen to me and someone for me to listen to. What I have is bunch of internet friends and random people on my social networks.

I miss the moment when we used to fight for computer. We will start argue when one of us use the computer longer than usual. We even set time and decide who's gonna use the computer on morning, afternoon, evening and midnight.
But now, I can online 24/7 and no one gonna bother me anymore.

I miss the moment when dad tells us funny stories and made us LOL. Dad always willing to listen to me whenever I have problems. He cant promise he can help me but at least he tried his best to solve my problems.
But now, I dont have much chance to talk to him.

" I miss those moments when we're together.
I hate time being so fast and we're separate now. "

We only gather once in a year. Or maybe less. I really miss the moment when they shitting a lot and made the whole family laugh to death.

No matter what, family is the one who support you the most. If you're sad or happy, they are the one who listen to you sincerely.
When you grow older, you got your love one and you started to spend less time on your family. They never complaint. But your friends will.

When you get hurt and dump by your partner, you feel like wanna die and end up your life. No matter how sad you are, remember, your parents are more sad than you. They feel they are useless because they just cant do anything to help you up.

Appreciate with what you have. Stop complaining everything in your life. You will feel better.