Things that I dislike during yam cha

Define 'Yam cha'. (5 marks)

YAM CHA is a very common word we use in Malaysia. Most of my ang mo friends don't know what is yam cha. Let me tell u, if I direct translate to English, it means drink tea. In Malaysia, we don't really mean drink tea. But we all gather together, sit down, chit chat and have some drinks. It could be beers, fruit juices, soft drinks but we don't mean to drink tea. Because scare night time cannot sleep ma! So, basically we say it like: oi, let's go yam cha tonight! Got the picture yet?

Yea, I dislike to yam cha due to some reasons.

1) Smoke kaki

It means the gang of smokers. Can you imagine the whole group of people sitting together chitchatting and the whole group of them are smoking?! And I'm the only one who don't smoke? I can't even say duh!! really?! I'm gonna die by just inhaling u guys secondhand smoke! and the whole chatting session I'm totally in a dizzy mode. When they finally say gosh, it's late now, let's go home. Wow, release man release. I can finally now inhale the fresh air as much as possible. Honestly? Hello, I wish u guys bring a plastic bag along so u could cover your head and inhale exhale your own smoke baby! Don't worry, I'll bring the plastic bags for u guys next time!

2) Phone Kaki

You can't imagine this, or I mean you can. They ask me out for yam cha and all they do is they chatting on their phone. Hey babe, what's wrong? I'm infront of you. Like, why the fuck u ask me out and all u did is just textin? Why don't u get your ass back home and do it instead of asking me out to see how u text? I know how to text with phone, I really do. You don't have to show me honey. Will u just go home please? 

3) Talk too much kaki

OMG, I always have this situation. Is like they keep talking from the beginning of the yam cha session till the end of the session. And I've been a best listener u ever had in your life. I don't interrupt u, I agree with whatever u say, I say you're doing the right things just to make u stop talking. Seriously, yam cha is a 2 ways communication man. But it seems like you're the only one who talking. Pathetic. Pathetic. Pathetic. Me. I wish to talk too. HAHAHA. LET ME TALK! Im actually not a quiet person.

4) Cold zone kaki

The one who never catch up with the topic we chatting. I asked have u eaten? She said no, I came from bukit bintang? well, is there lots of stars from where u come from? Oi, wake up liao la ~~ come back to Malaysia wei, youre not with penguins anymore.

5) check in kaki

They asked me out, they asked how are you, then they check on their facebook, they checked in and tagged me on it. And thats all about it. End of the yam cha session. This is the intention they asked me out ):

Just to check in a nice place. Cool stuff.

6) Sales kaki

Oi, long time no see. How are you? I'm good. I've been doing this and selling this? would you like to join me?

Oh gawt, Oh gawt, Oh gawt!! You cheated me. You ask me out and make me listen to your stuff for the fucking few hours? Just fucking kill me please. I DON'T WANT TO JOIN ANYTHING! just let me go home. Please I beg you. I beg u please. Can I throw my bag to your face?

7) Beer kaki

Like I said, yam cha doesn't mean drink tea. It means other things. Beers, fruit juices or soft drinks. But for me, beers is a fucking no no! When I said no, they called me bored. I didn't know drinking beer is a so called I'M NOT A BORED PERSON.

Oh u call that relax? That's always million of ways to relax instead of getting drunk and stay not sober and u need to drive home in that situation and cause a fucking accident on the road.

You're wasting oxygen to live, dirtying the land while u die. I wasn't cursing u, I was just trying to say u can relax in healthy way.

8) Making noise kaki

Omg sometime I feel so embarrassing to yam cha with this people. They scream so loud, they laugh too loud, they over respond, they freaking many pattern. Omg look! Everyone is looking at us in the cafe now. I think we are famous already. Tomorrow, reporter is gonna interview us. How can we be so loud so hyperactive?

I'm gonna famous soon, everyone is so gonna know who we are! Everyone is gonna share our stories in facebook and they gonna admire us! be prepare from now! 

9) Showing off kaki

You can't beat a show off kaki! When they wanna show off and they telling you their stuff, you will never get to stop them with your star wars sword, your gorilla, your battle ship, your m16. Because when it start, it will never stop!

You will need to get torture by all their awesome stuffs. I will need to repeat the AWESOME words non stop just to make them feel good with what they have. I don't want to drag them down to the black hole about the reality and the real life. So, go ahead. Come on and torture me!

10) funeral mode kaki

There's no laughter, no chitchatting, a very quiet environment. No one is talking. The scary mode. You feel bad even tho u just breathing.  Can you imagine the situation? man, ill never want to go out with these people anymore. Let me go let me go ~ !

Alrighty, so just don't ask me yam cha if you're any of them ok?!