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Thursday, August 28, 2014

记得小时候,

记得小时候我会躺在你胸膛,不给你走的闹别扭说不要走,陪我睡。醒来后你都不见。长大了你让我学会一个人在漆黑的房间睡觉。自己住酒店也不害怕。

记得小时候已经对钱很敏感的帮你管理钱,有多余的自己拿来用。长大后,我自己学会了管理钱,该花就花,不该花就不花,花了也记下花在哪边。

记得小时候我害怕陌生人的时候我总是躲在你背后。在你朋友面前大吵大闹要回家不给你一丝面子,你都不生气,反而很有耐心的叫我等你一下。长大了你让我学会在别人面前要有礼貌,就算不喜欢也要等回家之后才闹。

记得小时候你总爱带我去游泳池,特地请人教我游泳。要我这矮人十等的小妹跳进深不见底的游泳池里是多么的恐怖。不是这样,也不会有今天的我。就算要我跳进深不见底的大海里也不害怕。还变成今天的那所谓整天只穿着比基尼女郎。

记得小时候你总爱说些很无聊的废话,找一些无聊的东西做弄我,搞到我哭笑不得。长大后,你让我学会弄身边的朋友笑。让我学会说无聊话搞到朋友很无奈的想打我。

记得小时候你偶尔会花些心思,准备些惊喜给我。让我感动,让我觉得我一定要对你很好。长大后,我都学会花心思逗一逗我身边珍贵的朋友。让他们也觉得他们应该要对我好一点。

记得小时候都好像很穷,你都会把你身上所有钱给了我,就是因为我闹别扭要买东西。长大了我都学会好好的用钱,对有需要的朋友总是毫不犹豫的把钱借给他。

记得小时候你总是害我迟到上学,然后教我说谎,告诉老师又塞车了。长大后,我都不敢再迟到因为迟到走进课室的时候很尴尬。

记得小时候我生你气时,你总会在旁边跟我说话,问我东西,说些白痴话。而我就从来都不想理你。等他你无奈走开了,我才乖乖的跟你说回话。长大后,我没学到什么。我只知道生气的时候最好什么都不说,不然说错话让你伤心了。

记得小时候我不知所措时总是第一个打电话给你问你怎么办好,而你就算死也死给我解决。因为是宝贝女儿的命令。长大后哭的时候也是第一个打给你,但却不是要你解决,只是想问你在干嘛?我想找人聊天。

记得小时候我不懂犯了什么错,你第一次出手打哭我了。那时候我感觉到你不爱我了。长大后,我都不敢犯错。因为就是错了,你也不再打我了。就算错了,你还可以容忍我。

记得小时候我贪玩跟朋友去了一个很遥远的地方玩没有通知你一声。害你在我约好的时间和地点焦急的等了我很久,电话打通了我又不接。那一次我很怕,想了很多谎话骗你。结果还是被你发现了。你只是很心平气和的问我去了哪里,为什么去这么远不通知一声。我不会不给你去,但是万一你出了什么事该怎么办?那个晚上我很懊悔,我哭了很久。长大后无论我去哪里都好,我都学会写封简讯告诉他我在哪里,几点回。

长大后,距离远了,感觉变了,语气换了,脾气坏了,态度差了,沟通少了, 吵架多了,体谅没了。

对你的印象没那么深刻了,就算有也是小时候的那些记忆。长大后,肉麻的事情都不做了,只是偶尔几通电话,没钱单声,立刻汇给你。对你的事情总是重写,因为害怕有一天我嫁人了,把你给忘记了。



Friday, August 1, 2014

When Girls go to the gym...,

It's like a fever for everyone especially girls to go to the gym. Okay, I'm talking about those princess girly girl alright. Don't ever feel that I'm saying you in my blog okkk.

First of all, let's see.

1) Selfie 

Usually when typical girls go to gym to do exercise, they do a lot of selfie more than their sit ups. 100 selfie pictures, 10 sit ups. Fair enough. Please la, seriously what's the point when you spend so many times on selfie instead of doing your sit ups? Furthermore, you keep looking who's like on that pictures in your social networks wei? Go home can ha?

2) Make up 

Wahlau eh, go gym also want make up lo. Somemore waterproof one leh the eye liner. Don't play play! Seriously, if you're so afraid to show your ugly face, why don't u stay at home? Because in the gym, everyone is not really looking that great with the "I'm gonna die" face, "1000 sit ups done" face, "the squat" face and so on. I know what you want, you only want the waist line on your fat tummy, the super duper hyper extremely nice ass and what else? A slim legs maybe? If that's all, you can actually do it at home. You don't need to go all the way to the gym and waste your eye liner. It's freaking me out when it's not a waterproof one. So, don't post a picture with your make up face wearing a sport bra with a caption saying HARD WORK TODAY! I no see hard work at all baby. I see fat tummy. Opps.

3) Check In 

I tell you la, you must believe me. Even I'm not staying with you, I'm not that close with you, we don't contact that much at all, we are staying 283478264 miles away but I'll tell you what!! I know how many times you went to the gym in a god damn one week!! DO YOU SERIOUSLY NEED TO CHECK IN EVERY TIME YOU GO TO THE GYM? To tell people how hard core you are on check in the fb?

4) Report 

When I'm in school, I write report. In college, I still need to write a report. Even sometimes my jobs, I still still need to get one report done. But you, you are just going to the gym wei. Do you really need to write a report on facebook? On the bloody hell facebook social networks? Today, 15 squats, 20 sit ups, 15 push up, and 1500 selfies. I think I can do it more tomorrow. Jia you myself!! (Omg, I'm crying when I see this! Write it in your diary, not your fb, people is looking, and I'm already hide the posts.) 

5) Chatting more than exercise 

This one really kek sei. In the gym, wow nice ass you have, how long you've been working out on it? WOW, nice boobs there! Whao nice hair ~~ All the people in gym you also know d, what else you want to do now? 

6) Checking on hot guys 

If you really want to hit on guys, go other place la. People here for gym, not here for you to hit leh! Don't disturb other people la please eh xiao jie. 跑回去你的跑步机可以吗?

7) Videos 

Wahlau eh, you know ah? Nowadays we got instagram videos, we got MeiPai apps. You really know how to make use of it hor? You seriously need to make a video for how many push up you do one meh? I don't understand leh, can you tell me what is the purpose ah? 

8) Facebook 

Exactly! You see she will check in first, then she write report d, after that she made a videos, what else? You kena all d ah? LOL. Then after 10 sit ups, her phone keeping got notifications d. Ah miao commented on your videos, LiQii woo and 100000 people likes your video. LiQii woo commented on your status, "wahlau so busy write report, no need work out one is it?" You busy liao lo, no need sit ups d ma? 

9) Give up soon 

Then you will see they got lots of delicious foods pictures up there and caption: eat liao only increase my sit ups, eating can increase my selfie pictures also. Less going to the gym d, starting to emo liao. Say work liao so long also fat. Eventually, give up liao~ No more gym pictures after they see my blog. Finally people around me no one going to the gym but end up after one month, everyone post their waistline pictures. Wuhoooo~ This is the happy ending I imagine for them lol 

10) Back to beginning 

Basically back to the beginning, you will see them emo again calling themselves fat and starting to go to gym again and start all over againnnnnn. 


Honestly I don't go to gym, even if I go to gym, I'm like those typical girls who selfie hahahahaha. The reason I don't go to gym is because got lots of people, lots of distraction, people looking at you, I don't know how to use the equipment, and I scare I will scare them off away and I got no money for it.

So what I do was, I used to sit ups, squats, planks and everything at home. I used to lah, now no more d! HAHAHAHA. So my advices for my friends is, if you really want waistline, you do all these exercise at home and don't give up. Do it for a month non stop. I suggest you to choose February because got 28 days only. That's it, tahan a month, sure got results. 

Everytime when I tell my friends these, they will be like: Haiya, I know lah. I lazy only ma. Do 3 days give up d. You see your problem d? So don't ask for my advices if you're so fucking lazy, I'm lazy to talk to you too. And you're fats on your tummy are lazy to leave you. So diam, go home start doing it. I'll see you one month later, high five face! 

BYE


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